Dividing Attention Amongst your Children

Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.  H. Jackson Brown

I love this quote because it reminds me just how important it is to give my children equal undivided attention.  It’s not always easy, life gets in the way, you don’t have childcare and of course one child will need more of you during different stages of life.  Many people talk about date nights with their spouse or a girl’s night out but what about with your kids?  I’ll not deny it’s been more difficult to juggle with three and my husbands hours are not ideal.  He works most nights and many weekends.

I just spent three nights away with my 2 eldest skiing because they had a week off school for their Winter break.  I’m thanking my lucky stars that they have taken to skiing, but that’s a whole other post!  However for us to go away and me to participate fully with them means so much to me and I know they appreciate it too.  Of course we missed Ivy but they needed a couple days with age appropriate activities and we did them at our own pace.  We skied open to close went out to dinner, went for walks in the snow, stayed up past bedtime reading, and  ate too many chocolate chip cookies.

Obviously it’s not possible to get away on a routine basis, in fact I think it was last Winter break that we left over night.  Usually I can steal my daughter away when I get a quick manicure or to the grocery store.  Other simple things such as arranging to take them to sports practice alone and sit watching them practice or read a bedtime story individually.  My husband is home one weekday and he’s made a routine to pick up our son from school and take him out for lunch.  This is something Stevie really loves.  Last year Ava stayed with my parents one night a week because she has always been close with them.

Five Reasons you should Spend one on one time with your children

  1. It Conveys they are valued- Taking them out solo makes him feel special and conveys they are worth spending quality time with.  It also provides an environment where they can share without feeling the need to compete with siblings.
  2. It creates a safe environment for bigger issues- they will be more likely to open up to you without feeling shame or embarrassment.
  3. It let’s the quiet sibling have her turn,
  4. It shows you don’t pick favorites
  5. You understand what motivates your child- For example, you may think one child is the instigator of sibling bickering but maybe he feels he’s not getting the same amount of attention as the others?

I would love to hear your routines and rituals for spending quality time with your children

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